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How to Stop Pretending Life Doesn't Zig-zag

Circumstances change. The solution in some situations causes problems in others. Sometimes, it’s best to do one thing, sometimes the opposite.

That’s obvious and yet strangely ignored when we talk like there are universal principles, for example, never be negative, judgmental, or intolerant. Always be positive, accepting, and tolerant. You hear it in the terms positive and negative connotations. “Negative, judgmental, and intolerant” sound universally bad. Positive, accepting, and tolerant sound universally good.

But check this out. Never be negative is itself negative as though negativity is a no-no.
You shouldn’t be judgmental is a judgment, a should.
Be intolerant of intolerance is intolerant.

Most people don’t notice the hypocritical self-contradiction in such supposedly universal principles.

Those who do tend to have either of two reactions. One is to become a cynical hypocrite and proud of it as if morality is absurd, they can do whatever they want. If someone is intolerant of their intolerance, they just laugh at the contradiction and ignore the principle.

The other reaction is more realistic. The contradiction means it’s a dilemma, not a principle. For example, being intolerant of intolerance poses the dilemma about what to tolerate and not tolerate, like the serenity prayer, the serenity to tolerate what you can’t improve, and not tolerate what you can. If you’re wise, you recognize that you’ll deal with such dilemmas lifelong, trying to guess when you’re being too tolerant or not tolerant enough. Too negative or not negative enough, too judgmental or not judgmental enough, among other such dilemmas. Great questions that hypocrites don’t begin to wonder about.

Based on my origins of life research, and my strong hunch that effort is channeled energy, I like thinking about living as like driving winding, forking roads. I’m channeling energy into effort to staying on the road, a channel I’m running myself through. Internally, I’m channeling energy into threading external channels.

On the winding, forking roads of life, I steer sometimes right and sometimes left. I sometimes do one thing, I sometimes do the opposite. I’ve got to mind both sides of the road or I risk dying, losing my ability to channel energy. If I just try to avoid one side, like never be intolerant, I risk falling off on the other side, being too tolerant. It’s guess work. I try to get better at the guesswork.

I’m cultivating what I’ll call vice-versatility, the ability to look at my choices from opposite angles, to mind both sides of the roads I’m on. I don’t aim for perfection. I can’t have it and I don’t need it.

That’s what this page is about: cultivating vice-versatility, the ability to navigate the winding narrows of life, minding opposites since what succeeds in some situations, fails in others. And vice versa.